Category Archives: Life

H.B. Ryan.

when I first met you I was jealous.
who is this guy?
why does everyone I know, know him?
why don’t I?
who is this guy?
okay, he can sing
I guess we can be friends.

years passed, songs were sang and played.
together.
we both messed up our lives.
we fell apart.
then you left.
I guess we can’t be friends.

years passed, I decided to do ministry.
college found us.
earlier hurts never let me forgive.
every presence set hairs on edge.
we both messed up our lives.
we fell apart.
then you left.
I guess we can’t be friends.

years passed, I became religious.
life found us.
never really got over our pasts.
tried to overlook everything.
one tiny mistake, one letter later
then you left.
I thought I was right.

years passed, I was wrong.
God found us.
with help from a friend
and the car crash that kept me.
because a place of such passion.
because our God restored us.
I was wrong.
you returned.
Thank God I was wrong.

I’ve never seen such restoration
as through our friendship.
I thank you for forgiving me.
I was wrong about you.
I thank God for you
and that I was wrong.


Days like today

I’m not finished with college.  Yes, I know this is a tragedy.  Everyone asks with expectation “where did you go to college?”

I answer, “Oh I’m not done quite yet.”

The funny thing about that answer isn’t so much that I’m still awaiting my chance to move on from the confines of Lincoln, but the fact that I am far better off doing what I am doing now than what I had been at school.

 

Days like today really get to me.  They burrow on into my creative and inspirational makeup and decide to stay for awhile.
Days like today really help me. Accomplishing so much in such a little amount of time, pushing past limits I have implemented on myself.

Days like today happen more now that I am at Elevate than they ever did in 4+ years at Lincoln. Don’t get me wrong, Lincoln is a great school if you go there for the right programs, but it wasn’t until finding my niche at Elevate that days like today happened.

Our Pastor challenges us each and every week, everything that he wants from us is big.
(Headsup: If you aren’t in a church where your pastor asks big from you, rethink why you’re there.)

Everything he asks from us is to fulfill our Church mission.
(MISSON: We are a church for unchurched people to find life in Christ.)

It wasn’t until I gave more time to my church than I gave to worrying about my school grades and social standing amongst its students that I realized the heart of Elevate. Everything we are doing is for people to find Life. Never before has this been so burdened on my heart. I think that throughout a christian life there is complacency that occurs on the unchurched people we see. Sometimes resentment.

It’s days like today that push me deeper into the vision and mission of Elevate.

If your heart hurts for the lost, then hurt with me. Hold nothing back and openly love the lost. Wherever you are and at whichever church you serve at, find your footing. Let loose your personal chains and love.

Days like today only happen when we love.


so this is the new year.

restoration and redemption.


new

There is simply no use in letting all of this get me anymore.
Moving forward, called home.
There is simply no reason to let this hold me back.

He has this. He has me. He has everything.


trying.

what does it take to serve God?
when the world saw me as clean, I knew otherwise.
now the world sees a shadow of darkness behind me.
a darkness I do not believe true.

what does it take to be a servant?
to love and live in the likeness of a Perfect God.
why must some fabricated past me be what they see
a fabrication I do not believe true.

this, at the point of my closest, is my pain.
I see you in me, for maybe the first time actually.
11 months ago you turned me from myself.
11 months of living out your will.
my pain is in my highest point.
that they see a fictitious point.
and that overshadows the perfect point
that, regardless of the counterfeit and overcoming the rest of it,
God has worked His perfect will in me.

Trying to reside in this
I find it harder to resist
feelings of uncertainty

Trying to reside in you
I find it harder to undo
the years I spent running

Trying to reside in love
I find it hard to overcome
lies of things I don’t recall

Finding time to rest in this
Finding time to rest in you
Finding time to rest in love
I need your every truth.


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 232 other followers